One of Those Days in Formation

Have you ever had one of those days in formation where the seminary felt like the last place you should be? I’m sure we all have, but let me elaborate…

You wake up late after hitting the snooze for way, way too long. You’re tired. The night before you couldn’t sleep, because your neighbors snoring sounded like a mariachi band was playing in his room. So you don’t have time to shave—even though you know it’s the right thing to do—and you forget mouthwash. But hey, at least you put on deodorant, that’s a start.

Rushing to prayer you round the corner of Benet only to hear “One Bread One Body” being sung. You check your cell phone: Wednesday. So you quietly slip away to your room and write your dean yet another email indicating that you missed mass. Could things get any worse…?

Then it’s back down to Newman to catch breakfast. You’ve waited just long enough so that everyone has started eating, and no one will suspect that you weren’t at mass. But because of this the eggs are gone, the peanut butter and jelly bowls are emptied and the oatmeal has solidified. So you settle on cereal only to find somebody has stolen your lucky charms.

So on an empty stomach you shuffle off to Colloquy. The topic is human formation: of course you’re sitting there with your shirt half tucked in, an afternoon shadow on your face (even though it’s 8:30 am), and you’re still breathing out garlic from Los Bravos the night before. But hey, perhaps the rector won’t notice.

The colloquy continues and is inviting you to become a bridge for the people of God to meet Christ. You know this is a beautiful image. But unfortunately right about now you are feeling a little more like the Sherman Minton in Louisville than the Brooklyn in New York.

You take a deep breath: Inside your heart you ask God to give you just a little more faith to get through this tough day of formation.

In today’s gospel perhaps the disciples are questioning whether they are really cut out to follow Christ. They had just heard the story of the Rich Man and Lazarus. Now this message was tough to hear. What’s worse is that just a few days earlier they failed to put forth hardly any effort to feed the group of 5 thousand who were without food or shelter. Now today Jesus is telling them if they should cause anyone to stumble in their faith, it would be better if they were drowned in the sea by a millstone. If that wasn’t severe enough, Jesus is asking them to fraternally correct their brothers, and offer forgiveness even to the guy who is sinning against them, not once, but seven times a day.

And so they do what most of us would probably do: on the verge of panic, they ask Jesus to increase their faith.
But it is almost as if Jesus responds with what seems to be a lack of empathy. He says: all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed. That’s it. Perhaps the disciples felt at least a little short changed with his response.

But the reality is that Jesus was spot on in his remark. Whether it is the disciples who are asked to rise to the level of being leaders in the early Church, or it is us as we struggle to continue on their tradition, we are reminded of a truth that we must never forget. In the end holiness of life is not about us—it’s about God and our faith in what he is doing in us! If we want to be that bridge for others it is our faith that will repair and support our broken structures. If we want to thrive in this mulberry tree of formation, we must always remember that it will only be done through him, with him, and in him.